You want to know more about who I am. You hear me as Grandmother and the name that has come to you is Flores. Flowers. Flores. Grandmother Flores. You even wrote it on your hand to remind yourself of what’s come to you. You are getting visions of me as a shaman but I was more than that and yet I was also human-bodied, spirited human body. I had a nice home, small but cozy, full of warm fire and good smelling herbs and I would make tortillas as you call them but not the corn you think of but an ancestor. And I would remember who I was before, before Grandmother Flores but would not tell anyone. We spoke a language not known to you or to anyone since our people went on before those who spoke your language came around.
It was a lovely loving home I had. I lived by myself and had many children none of whom I birthed in human form. Much like you, no births from you, but love surrounds you as children do. You have many who surround you. Who love you. Some you have some shared memory of like your mother’s grandmother, some are unknown to you in this lifetime but they are here and love you beyond measure. They know you are scared but if you take the leap to be who you set out to be, they are here to back you up. To take care of you. You will not fail. You fear failure but your idea of failure is limited to whether you make money as a new venture, adventure is opening. But if you look at the bigger picture of seeing who you are, being more and more your Self serving others with love, then you have not and cannot fail. Love is always a success. Be who you are meant to be by your own decisions for this lifetime. Be you! Now.
Now is the “time” and your soul outside of time is experiencing this radical shift, an opening. Do it! We’ll get your back. You can fall back into our arms. Feel the excitement? That sense that you can do this because you have us here for you. Hear that cheer? Everyone here feels for you. Feel your desire to overcome your fears. Don’t hold back, baby! You are a planner and the problem with planning is it can only take you so far. You try to feel out the future but remember each choice changes the future. Don’t get stuck not doing it. You are meant to serve from light. That’s what SR said she heard/felt from Spirit and you feel what she said. So go for it. No holding back. Yes, you can plan out a transition, you have to do that but also allow the unknown to reside in your house of plans. Each choice, each decision opens a new future, one you cannot predict. But you are still moving forward by overcoming your fear of this change. You can do it!
You want more about me? Ok you can smell the smoke from my fire and the room – only one – is warm and dry. There are furs and skins on the walls to keep out the cold. In your mind you are now mixing images of something someone in the north in the Arctic or in what’s now Siberia with my image. You are not wrong, for I once lived there too but not right now. I have a cooking pot and it is where I make tea too. The floor is pounded earth and when I sit on it, Mother Earth speaks to me and I sing to Her. You should try it sometime. There are herbs drying above us. Hanging everywhere. I am, was, a healer for my family Tribe around me and for those who came from other places. As a little girl I was different and sometimes shunned or made fun of just like you. But even back then you were of spirit and your light shone brightly and that scared some and that made them jealous. I know, it is hard to understand those two emotions connected but they were. You still feel shame or something about being on the outside as a child. Always wanting acceptance but it was not there, not where you lived the town, community but your mother knew and knows of the light and she didn’t get the nourishment she needed to move forward with her power, her gifts. But her creativity is an expression of her power and she is so creative. Every day – almost every moment – she thinks as an artist, as a creator and she has a world inside her hidden from everyone else. Maybe you can ask her sometime. The time when you will be brave and not hold back.
We are alike, you and I, with our hidden-ness. As I got older and wiser and braver, it was like how you would say What the Hell and I went for it. I became open to speaking my mind and to learning from the Spirit, The Great Spirit, which had a name – Coanzicatl? and many smaller or younger spirits.
I loved my home, so warm. As I got older and the body I was in gave me more pain, I sent children to gather herbs. I had to teach them which herbs for pain and which for other things. Your great grandmother of your mom was like that though your mom has forgotten much of that herbal lore, hebal knowledge and that’s ok. You may wish to reclaim it and I can help you but that is only one thing we can work together to do. You have access to me, to other guides and spirits, you make the choices. You asked about the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as it is named. Those who live there have another name but by either nam, it is in danger. You must work with others to turn away destruction. You will know and have some souls who can work with elements to turn away from being used.
You mentioned before about the atoms being able to contemplate. Well, the elements which are made of atoms, can choose not participate but they need to have power sent to them. Give them energy. Call upon Earth, Air, Fire, Water to disrupt the plans of the greedy hungry. Turn them toward the sun, wind, geothermal heat, any of those energies so the Arctic is whole. Too many souls depend on this truth that there can be no disturbance to their home but more so to the energy of Mother Earth here. To the energy of that place. It must not be desecrated. Send your energy to others to those who can power the elements and use your energy and their energy to have the greed fail. Send them away. Turn their thoughts to peaceful uses. Enlighten the scientists working on energy to “discover” other sources. Sun is in agreement and will do what Sol Sol can do. Wind Sister Wind, Brother Fire – they are all here to replace the taking of Mother Earth. We must protect Her! We must protect our Mother!
You want to know more about me but for now know that I am with you and can teach you and will help you open to the knowledge you need and need to share.
I like and you like the imagined McD’s that had to have a place for cows and steers near the restaurant that was accessible to people souls so they could see the life they were eating and would be turned away if they saw into the eyes of the animals they were about to kill. There is a time for that to happen but the animals eaten must agree to be killed. This is not cultural appropriation for all cultures where heart was more connected to all living creatures had this same idea that life was and is precious and when someone, an animal soul, gave itself up, each person soul eating it was to be grateful for such a sacrifice. For getting to be a creature on this planet – Mother Earth – is a privilege and hard to get because everybody wants to do it.
You are in your Saturn Return as you call it. I only knew of it by the feeling in my bones and in my heart. This is where I reside in you too. But having a name for it helps you to read about it, what others say helps you. Thank you SR. You looked back at the time when the first Saturn Return happened in your 30’s. Lots did happen. Turmoil at first but you chose to go back to school, that it was time to get another degree. You also began to feel your physicalness and physical power in a completely different way than ever before. Not all of it was good. But you searched out the limits of physicality and learned what you could.
Getting the degree gave you some permission to use your power but when you moved here and even before, you never felt at home in the jobs you had. You pushed yourself out of the job at Morrisville. Then there came more schooling and you felt at ease, but your shadow around money came up, fed by another soul’s fear-shadow of needing money and there you went to another job. You were nurtured there for a while but your heart chakra told you different, that it was time to go to something else but you were scared to find yourself, no matter how dissatisfied.
That all brought you to the next turn of Saturn toward your natal chart – borrowing from astrological terms. The loss of that job, your desire to be a writer, your feeling of total loss of control. Loss of sense of Self. That was the beginning of this Return and now here you are on the brink of something new. Something that will expand your heart. Put you back on the path you set for yourself. No coincidences in the manner that people think of them. All co-incidences in terms of things that were needed and still need to happen for you. The Soul Path group could not hold together because you needed something different. This is that something different.
To then have a reading which so paralleled what is happening for you – that is synchronicity not coincidence. You are getting the same messages from different sources, different angles. Hello! No time to ignore it. You set this up for yourself. Some is carry-over from other lives. Some is brand new to this life. All of it is for growth. Your growth as a soul. You ready for the leap? It’s actually not as big as you think. Not as scary, take it from me. I did it without having written information available to me. I just did it by my wits and by the spirits. You are protected, loved, you will not fail in your soul. In your growth as a soul. You’ve been so afraid of failure but you’ve got to do as I did and say What the Hell! I’m going for it, going for my soul. Saving my soul. Saving my soul! With all this help it won’t go wrong, no failure only good.
Yes, you can plan out how it will happen in practical terms. This move you are making. I am here to help you sift through all the ways you can serve spirit, serve with light. You have to trust and go and leap and feel. Labradorite Stone will help as will Lapis Lazuli, but so many of the stones and crystals will help you. We will explore them. I’m so glad you’ve chosen to do this and to do so with me. I’ve known about you since before you were born and have been waiting. Well, waiting like we guides and spirits always wait, which is not waiting. Feel good. Feel so good about this because you are choosing your soul over the desires and wishes of others. You are letting your power out. Be kind and gentle with those close to you for your changes will mean their changes and they may be changing differently. Be loving and gentle with them but always keep your Self in the center.
I will share more of who I am over time. You can be sure of that. Writing works well but you must utter your power too. Don’t back away. Remember how much you are loved and cared for and protected. You are loved, so loved! You can take that love and spread it around now and always. Be light for others.
Oh yes, your imagination of tendrils. You pictured the tendrils of light and love going out from you. SR talked about seeds, planting seeds, but you see it as the little nodules. Nodules like the ones on a soybean plant’s roots, those nodules of bacteria that can fix nitrogen to feed a plant, other plants. That’s your image of what you give to others, those nodules of positive bacteria that fix nitrogen, which in this case, fix love and light and you feed others with these nodules.
SR mentioned that you do things in your own quirky-worky way and it’s true and it works! Quirky-worky. Nitrogen-fixing bacteria. It’s funny but it’s also one of the best images for you. You see yourself swimming in the earth, the soil up to your neck, dog-paddling among the trees, their roots, the fungi, the little creatures of Mother who are necessary, essential workers! Nematodes and centipedes and those little roly-poly bugs and earwigs and worms of all sorts. You are there swimming among them and you are all golden light, pure energy and you witness the exchange, the communication between the fungi and the trees through their roots. You are much of earth element, so much a child of Mother Earth! Come sit on my floor anytime and hear my story and hear me so I can help you learn your way along your path. My little fungus girl! My little earwig! My little Martian-looking creature yet to be named and acknowledged by Brother Science.
You are bursting with energy now! I am so happy. I am so happy for you. I feel how very full you feel, full of love, let those tendrils out, seek out those who need a little energy. Those who need their hearts softened today. Life is joy when full of light. Life is joy. Life is Love. Love is life. Mother waters your loved ones. The ones of Earth beneath your feet. She loves them too. You love them. I love them.
Love is all. Love is all. Love is all.
A Crone's Pen 